The past couple months in Macau were a strange existence.
Not quite traveling, not quite settled.
Humidity and laziness.
My own room.
Unsure what to say when asked what I do.
Creating new relationships.
Reconnecting with existing friends.
Acutely aware of differences in myself from when I departed one year earlier, I found myself living out new habits in a familiar city.
Coffee shops now know me well.
My feet tread far and wide across Macau’s streets and bridge.
In contrast, old habits, dormant for a year, sprung back to life, augmented by character shifts.
Going out to my favorite bars for a drink by myself.
Intentionally dating women.
Care-free and confident in both situations.
Unsure what to blog about. What fit on this blog and what is mundane? Embarrassed some days by my lack of interesting interactions, I preferred writing nothing than showcase a comparatively dull existence to the past year of weekly (sometimes daily) adventures and stimuli.
Now that the negativity is out of the way, allow your humble author to collate the fun, awesome, amazing, and silly anecdotes from my time back “home”.
Stumbled Upon this article more than a year ago. Laid out in plain sight a roadmap for greatness. A true greatness and freedom, independent of everything external.
This list watched and listened from the back of my mind as I’ve interacted with life the past year.
At first I had no basis to understand attachment, let alone remove the need.
Now I cherish most dearly this understanding and transformation to a state of being with less and less dependence on attachment.
Appreciate all, Need none.
Recently a new friend asked me why I came back to Macau for these couple months.
When I told her it was because I promised a couple people I would, she stared blankly at me and asked again.
After the second time of answering, she wondered if there was something lost in translation. She asked our friend in Chinese if she was misunderstanding.
I was not trying to be a stubborn ass, but clearly knew the main reason I came back at this specific time was because I committed to it.
I realized how foreign this mentality was for her in that moment; how a commitment could surpass other variables in bringing me back to Macau.
She was not wrong nor was I more right, but we exist in different realms of what a promise, commitment, or intention means.
I once lived with a mentality that included words like might, maybe, try, like to, or if things work out.
This has drastically changed. Now I am clear and determined once committed. Each commitment is honestly evaluated for ability and interest. If I cannot deliver nor want to then I don’t offer commitment.
The ability to say no is a key component. Without the ability to say no, and not just say no but say it with decisiveness and unflinching, unashamed, guilt-free clarity. That is powerful.
Polarize your yes from your no.
This is the mentality I prefer. This is the kind of person that instigates, that follows through, that creates. Others whose view of commitment is momentary, liquid, emotionally dependent; whose yes could turn to maybe in an hour, then back to definitely: these people are not wrong. They live to join the ride, follow the adventurer, inspire art, they are what makes the instigation, follow-through, and creation a worth-while experience.
When we can blend these two mentalities, that’s even better.
Yes means yes, no means no, but take a ride on someone else’s roller coaster now and then. Lose control. Be free to breathe. Relax. Give in. Enjoy. Be their inspiration.